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Loves
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My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
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Hates
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Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
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Reads
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The Diary
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The New Me....sorta? My thoughts are running around in my head like I am about to explode. I have a lot on my mind and I am starting to freak out because I am scared I am going to miss out or screw up. Maybe I am over reacting and need to let things that are suppose to happen,happen. Not try to make things work cause I need them to work, so I can get something else to work. Life doesn't work that way and I really need to stop that. I just try to hurry things up so I don't have to miss with it again. Arg, it's really fusturating. I've today done a major change in my look to get my mind of things. It worked for about a few hours, then my mind slipped back into the endless tennis game. I think to get myself out of the external depression on my looks, I did something big to myself that so far people liked. Of course, I didn't do for anyone else but myself, so hearing what they were saying was pointless. With the help of my good friend Ryan, I did it. The one response i got from my mother was, "I love it! An you earned it!". I don't know if I should take that as a good thing or bad. All in all, the next thing I need to do is excrise. I already cut back on my eating for the past week, which ended up showing some results and being to small in the jeans I bought a few days going. I dropped a size in a few days. I don't know if that is from me straving myself or the mind over matter (which is the mind over the food) game I have been playing with myself. I drink a shit load of water and I piss like a race horse. Don't get me wrong, I still eat..just not as much as I use too. An tomorrow I start some form of excrise. Anyway... I haven't spoken to Megan in a few days, so I hope things are fine and going well. I dunno, I am driving myself crazy with things I want to do and I can't cause everyone is either busy or to far away. Life is really unfair. It's all worth it at the end. All in all, I have everything I need lined up and people I want in my life to get it done. Now it's just the matter of doing it and never looking back. We'll see how things go. I am going to bed. Work in the morning. Night. --Ally |