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The Diary
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Return To Innocence Ahhh finally a entry... ok, well I have deep thoughts, then I don't. Whatever pops out of me. An I am going to do it again in sections. So here we go.. Work, Tina..etc.. Work as been pretty steady. Have been getting decent hours, meaning not being sent home early. So, getting nice decent check this holiday season haven't been a bad thing. We are getting ready for the Christmas rush already! Can you believe Christmas is in, 21 days?! I still have 4 more people to get. The hardest person to get is Ryan. The boy is so damn picky that it's hard to please him with anything. An I told him that, we all are getting him what we can afford. If he doesn't like it, he better act like he does when he opens it. All in all things at work are going fine. As for Tina, I got the scoop from her why she miscarried. The biggest reason was the fact Chris and Tina's blood clashed, which stop the babys growth. She has O positive blood and Chris as B negative and that is a bad thing. So, the doctor asked her if they would like to have a child, and of course she said yes which in my opinion is a mistake right now. So, they gave her a shot that messes with her blood, so when her and Chris try again, and she gets pregnant, they baby has a better chance of living. Hell, they are going to get married early next year and I am the maid of honor (as I am also at Megan's wedding). I can do both right? It's not at the same time. Anyway, after they marry, they are going to try again to have a kid. The doctor says to wait 3 months, so that is what they are doing. I can't help but feel this is a big mistake. O'well, it's her life. Now onto something more deeper.. I feel like I am going insane. You know the feeling you have when you don't do something or you feel like something isn't right, you go literally crazy? That is how I feel. I don't know how and why I am feeling this way, but I just do. All I can do about it is drill on it with my thoughts an try to figure out what to do. I even tired to medaitate an it's not working. I feel stuck along with feeling like I am going literally insane. I can't even really talk about it without even feeling crazy. Cause I don't have the right words to even explain how I feel. DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! *screams* Anyway, I am off today and I really should go to work and get my check since it's pay day, but I don't feel like it. Thank God for direct deposit! HA. Plus, I need to eat something. So I am going to end this with a song that been in my head for the past 24 hours. I really like it. See you all later. :0) Return To Innocence By: Engima Love - Devotion Feeling - Emotion Don't be afraid to be weak Don't be too proud to be strong Just look into your heart my friend That will be the return to yourself The return to innocence. If you want, then start to laugh If you must, then start to cry Be yourself don't hide Just believe in destiny. Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. That's not the beginning of the end That's the return to yourself The return to innocence. --Ally |