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Loves
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My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
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Hates
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Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
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Reads
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The Diary
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Who am I? Sorry for the lack of entries. An honestly, I don't feel like updating anymore. Cause things that comes out of me is simple bullshit to the highest level. Besides I don't make sense half of the time anyhow. I ramble on about things that only make sense to me and at the of the entry, I feel better. Yet, I leave you all in a cloud of confusion. An I don't know if I should feel bad about that or not. I'm totally confused myself at this point. I see people who care for me do everything in their power to make sure I don't screw up to bad. Yet, I somehow get inches from going over board. I love the rush it gives me when I can push myself to the edge and get the feeling of losing it, yet I don't. To some people that would drive them insane. For me, well, it's part of me. Maybe it's the life I had growing up or all the shit I get myself into or things people have done to me. I was told I am leading a reckless life and I am going to crash hard to where I would need to be basically hospitalized. I see what everyone is saying and understand all that is given, but I crashed a long time ago to where I'm not the sweet person I was more than 8 years ago who was introduced to the net. Life gave me a rough hand and I'm playing it. Granted, I'm slowly getting tired of the game, I know what I need to do with myself without being pushed to far. I do openly admit, I get really blind when it comes to "love". I get really reckless and um stupid. My last round was a whopper and stupid of me. I admit that, but there always something that will make things go around. All I know is, I do need to slow down. How? I don't know. But I can start by saying.. Enough is enough. I don't know where to go from here. Yet I have families to count on and friends who are there for me, but it's hard asking for "help" when everyone knows what is best for you. When YOU are the only one that knows what is best for yourself. Granted, people would say I don't know what is best for myself. Hence, I need "help". I'm wacked out, then I am not. I know that does not make sense, but it does to me. Heh. Oye.. I am a mess... but I will be ok. I know I will be. Anyhow.. I got some things to confrot on my own. An move on. I would promise I'll update again soon, but I can't cause I probably won't. Heh. Here is something that fits right now.
Control --Ally |