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My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
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Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
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The Diary
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Bad Habits I really hate it when we lose an hour of sleep. Throws everything off. From the lack of sleep I am getting now, until I get use to this, it's going to bite me in the ass for a while. Plus with work, everything is taking it's toll on me. An maybe that is why my eating habits are shitty. All I do for weeks now is drink water and eat very little. Of course popping my diet pills I am sure are not helping. The diet pills give me enegry that I am lacking, and burns away any extra fat I have LEFT on my body. Someone told me, that if I don't eat more they are going to literally kick my ass. Even my crush is concerned. Why? Well, within' about 3 weeks now, I lost about 15 pounds. That is pretty fast for someone like me. My mother is finally noticing the difference when I keep pulling up my damn pants up and yells at me, then to say sorry puts food infront of my face. I don't know why I basically stop eating, well I do, just very little. Is it the stress? Worrying to much? Anger? I have no damn clue. I know that what I am doing to myself is wrong and really unhealthy, and that I should eat. I just don't want too or care to eat. I hope it's just a phase and that my mind and body snaps out of it. Cause if I go any smaller, I am going to look like a damn coat rack. BLAH. Heh, someone also told me I have a medical problem or something to that nature. When I asked what kind of problem, they couldn't answer me. Even Tina has told me I am looking skinny and coming from someone who wears a 5 and is really boney is saying something. If I literally now do hardcore 50+ sit-ups every day, I can look like I haven't eaten anything for months. Disgusting ain't it? I am greatful for my friends to really care about my health like they have. For once, they are making sure I worry about myself and not them. Even my crush asks me everyday if I have eaten and to eat while we are on the phone. Maybe I should eat for them? Again that would put them before myself and they would kick the living shit out of me for doing that. I am going to be honest. Right now I am hungry, but I don't want to get up and eat. Cause I was told by Tina when she got home today from work that her husband has gotten in a car accident and is hurt. So again... I am being a worry wart. I mean he is home but with cracked ribs and things like that. I feel bad for her so bad, cause now she has NO car and her husband is banged up. Ugh... there I go again and worrying about other people. BLAH! Anywho... I am off tomorrow and Tina has asked me to give her a call tomorrow at work to see if we can go to the movies, to get our mind off things for awhile. So, I am going to super clean my car and cloths, and then call her to see if she can go. I wouldn't mind having a girls night out. We'll see how things go. Also on Sunday, I am going maybe head down to my dads for Easter lunch and then head to mall with my awesome friend Ryan and hook me up with some new cloths. I am tired of pulling my pants up, even with a belt on! LOL Plus, I wanna upgrade my cellphone too. So, until next time my faithful readers...PEACE! --Ally |