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The Diary
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Realizing my problem part 1 Ahhhh I am back once again. An this time I have things on my mind to release. I only hope you have the patience of letting me rant like a crack addict on speed. A lot of things as of lately been on my mind. All started on Tuesday night when Tina, Jessica and I went out to Yabor in Tampa, for a girls night out. Well, we ended up taking a personality test. My results shows I am perfectly fine, BUT there is something or someone holding me back. The ones who go over your results for you are real theripists (sp?). The end result, I need to work on my uncertainty and depression I have living in this house. Basically saying I need to get away from my mother, the one who keeps me from living my life the way I am suppose too. My mom means well, but she says and does things that is damaging to me. I basically let every pain and emotional damage hurt me to a point that I can not have the confidence to live my life the right way. The lady who spoke with me told me that I should take a class that could help me boost myself up and be the strong, beautiful independent woman. Tina and Jessica did the test too and had someone speak with them as well. I bought a book that the lady I spoke with said I should read, it's called, "Dianetics" The Modern Science of Mental Health, by L.Ron Hubbard. Cost me 8 bucks and the shit is big. It will atleast take me a month to read it. All in all, I should just basically move and I will be fine. An teach myself not to let my mother get to me anymore. It's odd, out of all the people in my life who called me names and put me down, the only one that sticks with me is mom. Sad. Anyway... Other things right now in my life are alittle stressful. Things with Tina and her husband Chris are going pretty bad right now. The word DIVORCE came up. An Tina is dragging me into this whole thing. Hell, her "husband" things I am trying to get her to cheat. He is just completely wacked out right now. He will not let her have friends or take her to the hospital when she was have serious pains. Which came to the result of her have a serious infection ON THE INSIDE and he didn't really care. Tina had to ask a MALE friend to take her to the hospital and her husband had a fucking cow. He knew for days that she was in pain and did nothing. Just looked at her and went out with friends or played video games. Now keep in mind, she is not aloud to really have friends, but he is. In my personal opinion, he is turning into a obessive asshole and she needs to leave him, but that is just my thoughts on it. I told her to follow her heart and do what makes her happy. Everything right now is a damn mess. I am worried about her cause the meds that the hospital as her on are some strong shit and with stress, oye. I hope she drops by work tomorrow. She needs a leading shoulder to cry on. Work is work, pay raise is in the talks. So, I am going to be called in to the store manager office to see if I can get mine. So, we'll see. Man, more money would rock. Well, I think that is all for now. Later all. --Ally P.S. To be continued.... |