Navigation
|
Loves
|
My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
|
Hates
|
Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
|
Reads
|
The Diary
|
Uh-oh! I've been thinking again and spilling the beans!! I had a chance to do some thinking today. I thought about all the things that have been happening as of lately, when it comes to love and relationships. I've grown a lot since my puppy love years back when I was a young teen. Hell, I went through a lot of pain and emotional rollercoasters to get to where I am today. I am ready to settle down. Well, not completely like in having kids and all, but to be in a serious one on one relationship and plan a life together, like travels and careers. Not those high school dramas of he said she said bullshit. I have so out grown that, that I have stayed out of dramas and other people problems. I've learned love isn't a game, it isn't about who is right or who is wrong and it's not about what some other person said about the person your seeing. It's about realizing the love and respect you have for your partner. It also has alot to do with the fact you don't want the stress or the heahaches anymore and knowing what you really want. The knowledge of knowing your partner is not going to hurt in any way. Be there for you whenever they can and support you in every way possible. An when there is a problem, try to solve it with you like an adult. Not have the stupid thing of getting your friends involved and playing the drama high school games. Willing to also do the whole 50/50 thing. Helping each other out with things. I know all of these things can not happen, or can they?! Just with the things I have been witness too and the pain I seen that drama as cause, it's not worth being in that relationship if it hurts you to much. It's really isn't worth crying over on a daily bases and try to fix something which can't be fixed. I have learned that I shouldn't be something else to get attention from the oppsite sex. I taught myself, or should I say finally realizing, that I should be who I am. Not worry about my looks or to what anyone thinks of me. I will never attract my future husband if I am not honest with myself from the start. I refuse to play the field or shop for that perfect outfit to fit in. All that is crap to me. I want a guy that is willing to put up with my ways, looks, and wants to be with me and not what I could be. Being "fake" doesn't get you very far in life. Cause 99.9% of the time, lieing is going to catch up to you and life is going to fall apart all around you. An usually, when there is one good lie out in the open, it usually will unlocks many others. Lots of needless pain. So yea, I have grown up alot. An I know what I want in a relationship and what I want in my life. Even to this moment I surprise myself with the fact that I keep my love life in total privacy now. Granted, a few close friends know about it, but that is as far as it will go too. I've learned that I work better with myself if I keep things between my partner and I, an not involve all my friends. I realize I am a better girlfriend that way and it personally makes me happy. If only I knew to have done this years ago, I'd probably wouldn't have some of the trust issue that I have with people. I trust a very few people. I guess you can say, I am still pretty jaded. But letting down walls isn't something that is easy for me anymore. Yet, the guy I am seeing makes it easy. He is me with a dick, heh. I love him dearly. An we will see how far our relationship goes. Meaning, I am not going to predict what tomorrow brings, but with him, living for today is all it takes to make me happy right now. Life is good. --Ally |