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My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
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Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
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The Diary
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Saddly, I am still running... I feel a little lost at the moment. I'm having a hard time keeping strong and not letting my guard down. Right now, some part of me wants to kick, scream and cry in the privacy of my favorite spot. Other parts of me wants to beat the living shit out of someone. I have all this pain, angry and saddness looming over me that it's hard staying fouce with wanting to move on with my life. I know deep down within' me, I know I am a strong person, but with all this crap going in my life right now I am wanting to explode, disappear or just start over new somewhere else. Ok, so I am sounding like I am running from my problems. Well, I am not. I am running away from other people's problem, whom just hurt me and drag me down. Hell, I shouldn't let people do that to me, but sometimes it's hard to take, when you have a good heart and they walk all over it. It's really painful.
I'll be fine, time heals all wounds. Unless, someone keeps digging up the pain of the past. Even though sometimes the past is the good way of learning from your mistakes. An believe me I have, in so many ways right now. An like an old friend said, those who are meant to be in your life will someday return. In some ways, it's true. Someone from my past shined a beam of hope that time does heal all wounds. Who knows, maybe I am meant to be alone for the rest of my life. Shit, I don't know anymore. I think I am so far lost that I don't know what's a real friendship is. Trusting anyone right now is hard and will be for a while.
God, I need a strong drink.. anything to numb right now.
--Ally (My guestbook is feeling lonely. Will someone drop by and say hi?) |