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My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
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Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
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The Diary
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Still alive So, my sister arrives tomorrow. Her flights lands at 10:30 PM. An to get everything ready for her visit, I basically attacked my room and redid it completely. Granted, it got me to really clean my room out a bit. I really wanted to just rest today. But I couldn't cause I work tomorrow and then we are throwing a 27th B-day for my sister on Friday and I have to work 8-5 that day too. Then, after having good food, laughs and beers I again have to get up at buck crack of dawn again for work at 6 a.m on Saturday. Then to only come home at 5 to right away leave again with my sister to head to Gainsville to see her old college buddies. It's going to be a long few days. I'm already dead tired, cause I am so stressed out and tried from trying to get things done before tomorrow. An believe or not, I am still not completely ready for her visit either. Plus mom and "step-father" are going at it, so it makes it seem all even more stressful. I get yelled at for saying how I feel to feeling like not doing something. It's hard to please anyone right now. So, to add onto everything else, it's going to be a tense, emotional few days. I honestly don't know how I can handle anymore you know? I'm at my end of biting my tongue. I still have to go Christmas shopping. I also have to add in the factor of still getting hurt by people. I'm really at the boiling point of really ready to explode. So, I am keeping my distance from people and just letting things go. I do my best to calm down or to for get by taking hot bath, drinking tea, reading. An yea, I know it's only putting a bandaid on the problem. I can only do so much until I can get myself out of this hell hole.
--Ally |