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My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
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Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
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The Diary
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Have you ever wondered? ((I am about to talk about something that is completely off topic from my pervious entries. It gave me a chance, to clear my mind a bit and for once in a good while now, really smile. Not all my thoughts and feelings are in this one entry. There wouldn't be enough time in the world for me to write them all out. So, I tried to sum them up the best I could. I will update this topic when something else pops up. Enjoy!)) Have you ever wondered what it would be like, when you meet the person you are meant to be with? I mean, the real thing. Not all those times when you said the guy you were with at the moment is the "one". This is the kind, that you don't know it until something clicks later on down the road. Like, when things just fall into place. To be able to be calm and collective within yourself and to ease into something REAL. That when things don't seem so clear and you get lost, feeling alone and cold. An that one person, defrost you and brings the best out of you. That this person, is able to understand, believe and ever so willing to put up with your endless flaws. Better yet, correct those flaws with patiences, intelligence, wisdom and understanding. With such ease and care, that feeling lost is never in sight again. An what is better, you have one thing in common that is stronger than any other bond. Yet you don't have to physically see him in person (until you are ready) to feel what is REAL. To be able to just enjoy each other company on the phone. Talk about things that are endless and meaningful to me and him, but meaningless and boring to others. To laugh at something that we both think is pure stupidity. Be completely open and honest from the start, and not worry about being accused or laughed at. To find that one best friend, that will be at your side for the rest of your life no matter what. If you are wondering who I am talking about.. it's "J". I never met anyone like him before. He is someone that I feel so damn comfortable with. He can calm me down after having a bad day, to making me feel beautiful about myself without trying. He makes me stop and think, and realize the things I do wrong, and gives advice on how to fix the problem. Hell, he makes me have feelings I never had before. Best of all, I can be WHO I AM around him and he likes the real me. I don't know if I am falling in love or I am dreaming. Someone pinch me... We are taking things slow. Slow enough to first be greats friends, so we can move further up along into a REAL true relationship. I feel so at peace right now. Happy actually, and I haven't been happy this way in a very long time. Which makes me realize I never was happy in any relationship I was in before. My confidence and personality shine with him around. This is real to me. I can stand tall right there next to him willingly to face the world and be ever so proud. The thing that is the most important to me is... He takes the drama out of my life... With his warm smile, to his intelligence, to his friendship, advice and love. I know that pain will never come across my path again. An he is the best thing going right now. All this is hard to explain, and it's even going to be harder to explain when things become more real to me and become clear. I can only hope that, no matter what happens, he remains in my life. After all..I am nothing without him. So.. have you ever wondered? --Ally |