Navigation
|
Loves
|
My boyfriend. My friends. My music. Poetry. My family. Eating chocolate. Life. Cats. Computers. Thunderstorms. Being myself.Sex.
|
Hates
|
Liars. Cheaters. Stupid people. Working for Wal-Mart. Posers. Brittney Spears. Hilary Duff.People who call themselves your "friends" when they are not.Traffic.
|
Reads
|
The Diary
|
Here I go again being a damn sap! Shoot me! I am in a weird mood. I'm in one of those moods where, I would stand in the rain and revel in the beauty of mother nature at her best. I would look up and let the rain drops fall down my face. Closing my eyes to make the time seem still and drowning out the sounds of everything around me. I love doing that. I came close to doing it tonight after I got home from work cause it's raining, but something told me not too. Beside my mother was standing with the door open for me, yelling for me to hurry up. I find it best to stand in my backyard watching a storm roll in and wait for the water to drown me. Cause you see the wall of rain coming towards you. So, your heart pounds, you want to run but you stand your ground. Man, I love it when it rains. What would better is to make love or to make out in the rain. To have someone you love just hold you close, kissing the world around you away. Making you feel that it's just you and him and mother nature showering you with her love over you two. To only dry out with a rainbow and the warm sun. You have no idea how I love to be so romantic and wanting to be close to the one I love like that. I have yet found someone who is willing to stand in the rain with me and just loving the moment. An to not care that you are getting wet or your make-up is running, but just enjoy that single moment. Boy, can't you tell that I am a hopless romantic?! I am a sap! :) Anyway... I find it sometimes difficult to have someone like you, while you are with someone. Cause you feel bad for them. They pour their heart out, so to speak, to win you over and you don't budge. I feel bad turning him down all the time, but I am not going to cheat on the guy I am with or leave the guy I am with to be with him. In my case, the one who likes me a lot is a co-worker. Don't get me wrong, he is a sweet guy and he knows I have a guy, but he is not giving up. He is not being pushy or anything, just I want to be his friend. I know I am sooner or later going to have to him to either back off and be friends or leave me alone all together. It's best for everyone in the long right now. I just hate seeing the look on his face when I turn him down for dates. Ugh I hate having a heart. I will say though, I do care for him in a close friend way and he knows that, but he cares more for than I want to realize and it just hurts sometimes. An my guy knows about him too. He finds it funny that a guy is falling for his girlfriend. I also find myself being really open with my guy. My communication with him is the most I've had with anyone in a long time. So, I can happily say, my boyfriend is my best friend. My partner in everything I do right now. My support in my deicisons and ideas. An realizing it at this very moment, I am in a adult relationship. An so totally happy. With him the pain of my past is history and shines the light for in the future. Damn I love him. Anyway, I am going to stop being a damn sap and go read for awhile. I should be around in a day or two. Laters! --Ally P.S. I love this entry! ---> My favorite ever!. |